SWEET LINCOLN’S MULLET: An Update

by Eric Doerr on June 2, 2010

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I figured it was about time for an update. Last couple of weeks were filled with some great baseball, but I spent the last half of the month finishing up the semester and relaxing because of it. So yeah…sorry for the lackoupdates

The Stanley Cup playoffs have been my focus with the Hawks making this amazing run to bring Lord Stanley back to the Windy City (yes I look like homeless Ron Burgandy with my playoff beard). No I did not miss the end of Doctor Perfect’s Perfect Game (gotta love him giving Ruiz all the credit), but expect plenty of more baseball updates once the Stanley Cup Final concludes. Here are some quick notes:

  • 2 perfect games in one month? Gotta go back to the 1880s for the last time that happened
  • Cliff Pennington is starting to look a little more like Bobby Crosby, hitless in his last 27 at-bats. This is a clear attempt at a reverse jinx. However, the A’s are still currently in 1st place
  • “Cuban Missile Crisis” – Kendry Morales blows out his leg in walk-off granny celebration. Condolences to him, box of laughter to the Big A. OC: Let me know how the injury bug tastes, see you guys later in the summer.
  • Justin Morneau is the run away MVP, yet Mark Teixeira is leading 1B in All-Star votes
  • Mike Leake? Jon Ely? Who? I mean we knew Mike Leake had potential, but this is ridiculous right out of the gate.
  • Speaking of ASU, those cheaters are the #1 seed in the NCAA Tourny. A bunch of horseysauce if you ask me- they shouldn’t be playing due to their 8th MAJOR infraction.
  • Speaking of ASU yet again, I saw them beat meh Fullerton Titans TWICE in March, putting CSUF under .500 at 10-11. Since that happened, they are 30-3.
  • Go ahead, read the previous one again.
  • Dodgers decided to win 9 in a row during my hiatus and are a looking like the team we all deep down thought they were capable of being. With LA- SD, Cincy, THE NATS, Florida, Oakland Awesomes, Toronto, Detroit ALL are either in or a couple games out of first place.
  • Finally: Stephen Strasburg, June 8th
  • Dontrelle traded to the DBags, thus leaving potential he gets sent down to Triple-A Reno. If the Aces have any intention of getting me out to games where I do not receive free tickets, a D-Train stop would seal the deal.
  • Batting Stance Guy is making the round abouts on his book tour. Friday night at the Oakland Coli; hopefully I can get there. Buy book here and here is the trailer for the book in all its glory:


I will be back in full force here and 7IS once Hockey ends. Tough shit, I know.

-Bird’e [Stoudemire]

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Braden’s Top Ten on Letterman

by Eric Doerr on May 11, 2010

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Dallas Braden…I mean “Mr. Perfect” Dallas Braden got to do the Top Ten list on Letterman this evening. A’s beat writer Jane Lee has the list handy-

10. Grandma’s right. Stick it, A-Rod.
9. I did it! Oh crap, it’s only the fourth inning.
8. Seriously, how cool a name is Dallas Braden?
7. Now, maybe Justin Bieber will know who I am.
6. I must not tell the world I’m Iron Man.
5. This is something they can never take away from me. But for $50,000, you can have my glove.
4. Next pitch, eyes closed.
3. Even I’ve never heard of me.
2. I should at least give up one hit so I don’t have to do Letterman.
1. Maybe I can give Kate Hudson a call.

#1 has to be one the greatest burns ever. Video coming later.

[via Lee's Leftovers]

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Braden’s Perfect Game: Respect

May 10, 2010
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I’ve gotten a handful of questions about how I feel about what Dallas Braden did. I’ve been a lifelong Athletics fan and I have not really responded to anyone directly- It’s been tough to put into words because there is so much behind it, but I figure a letter to all you Negative Nancy’s and [...]

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VIDEO: Rojo Johnson makes his debut

May 7, 2010

Last night, Venezuelan Pitching Phenom Billy Ray “Rojo” Johnson make his debut for the Houston Astros’ Triple-A Affiliate (Round Rock Express). He did not disappoint:

Obviously, that is Will Farrell. One can hope that Rojo will be Kenny Powers’ arch nemesis in Season Two of Eastbound and Down.
[MLB.com - Will Ferrell pitches, entertains in Round Rock]

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Tippin’ My Sombrero to Hank White and Joe Table

May 5, 2010
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Just a quick update: Happy Cinco de Mayo. I celebrate this day by reflecting back on my favorite English-translated Hispanic Baseball names in the history of the game: Henry Blanco and Jose Mesa.
…[reflecting]…
My mind is telling no, BUT MY BODYYY IS TELLING ME YE—uhh telling me Omar Vizquel and the city of Cleveland is still [...]

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Ryan Howard signs a 5 year, $125m extension

April 26, 2010
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ESPN is reporting that Ryan Howard and the Philadelphia Phillies have agreed to a 5 year, $125 million extension through 2016. The deal includes a team option in 2017, which could bring the deal to $138 million.
Ryan Howard- I am happy for you. You are going to be incredibly wealthy, and quite frankly you deserve [...]

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Now we know where Kenny Powers is headed

April 23, 2010
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If you consider yourself a big-time Baseball fan but have not seen HBO’s “Eastbound and Down”, let’s face it- you are not a big-time Baseball fan. That gentleman pictured above (played by Danny McBride) has become a fictional icon for America’s Past-time. A quick Google search will inform you of everything you need to know [...]

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Dallas Braden Does Not Appreciate Your Mound Touchings

April 22, 2010
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With the Triple Play overshadowing the rest of the game between the Yankees and Athletics this afternoon, many watching live saw Dallas Braden jawing at Alex Rodriguez after a double play in the sixth. After replays, no one could really determine what exactly caused the tussle, but the Athletics’ wonderful beat writer Jane Lee is [...]

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Yankees’ first Triple Play since 1968 guides team to loss

April 22, 2010
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Quite an adventurous day at the Oakland Coliseum: Kurt Suzuki continued his personal domination of Vallejo’s Carston Charles Sabathia by hitting a 3 run blast off in the 1st. That was overshadowed in the sixth, as he grounded into a 5-4-3 Triple Play. This was the Yankees’ first Triple Play since 1968, but it all [...]

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VIDEO: Epic Rain Delay Theatre

April 21, 2010

This is what College Baseball is all about: 2 hour rain delays filled with rollercoasters, shake-weight, a dance-off and some old fashion wrastlin’. Beautiful work, gentlemen- beautiful.

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